


Lighthouse

by Harukami



Series: Rebuilding [2]
Category: No. 6 (Anime & Manga), No. 6 - All Media Types, No. 6 - Asano Atsuko
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-19
Updated: 2012-06-19
Packaged: 2017-11-08 04:01:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/438919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Harukami/pseuds/Harukami
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Nezumi comes back, he's got some fears left to deal with.</p><p>Sequel to <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/418570">Home</a> but should also stand on its own, given the premise that Nezumi came back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lighthouse

They came down for breakfast in the morning together, and Karan, who was wrestling one tray of finished rolls out of the oven, said, "Pass me that tray there, Shion, won't you," meaning another tray of unbaked ones, so Nezumi grabbed it deftly before Shion could and held it out to her.

Karan reached to take it, missed because she was aiming a little too low, and turned to look.

For a moment, they were silent, staring at each other. She was looking well, he thought. Round-faced and carrying her weight comfortably, face amiable and warm. The tray was growing heavy in his hand as she failed to take it, even though he was completely aware how light it actually was. He couldn't seem to make it feel as light as he knew it was. This moment was too heavy in and of itself.

She took it and popped it in the oven. Nezumi contemplated leaving in that split second that her back was turned. The kitchen had a window that was only a one-story drop to the cobblestones. The kitchen door led directly into the store front and that had a window and a door -- no, that window didn't open, only the door mattered. Or he could go back up the stairs, leave out the window like a memory that hadn't actually become reality again --

Shion came up behind him, one hand trailing along the counter casually, trapping Nezumi in between himself and Karan like it was nothing. Certainly, from the happy and oblivious expression on his face, he hadn't even realized that he'd done it.

"Good morning, Mom," Shion said.

"Good morning, Shion," Karan said, and closed the oven, and turned to face them with a smile and with tears in her eyes. "Good morning, Nezumi."

"Yeah," Nezumi said. "Can I have a muffin for breakfast?"

***

Eve's name was completely unknown out here, of course, and Shion's letter of recommendation listing him as _the best actor in the West Block_ wasn't much of a selling feature to anyone from the city that had once been No. 6, Nezumi assumed. But as the man who had enabled the reconstruction, not to mention the patron who had the theatre built, Shion's letter of recommendation carried a weight that its words made a mockery of, and Nezumi was pretty sure the theatre manager didn't even read it so much as take it as an order.

"Well, you can definitely audition," Makoto, the theatre director, said with only a hint of reluctance. "We're auditioning for Hamlet right now, by suggestion of our patron."

That was Shion's nostalgia in action right there. "The play or the part?"

"Well, both. We haven't cast any of the leads yet. Are you interested in Hamlet?"

"No, Ophelia."

Makoto eyed him dubiously. "Ophelia? But you--"

Nezumi tossed his head as if his hair was no longer cut short, as if he were shaking out luxurious locks, then let his limbs go loose, staggering, tilting his head up -- building the image for them of a girl looking through her long tangled hair, heavy eyes miserable and distant, caught up in a world that wasn't in front of her eyes, projecting that image for all he was worth, lips soft and parted, drawing a breath into his lungs.

> "How should I your true love know  
>  From another one?  
>  By his cockle hat and staff,  
>  And his sandal shoon."

He pitched his voice perfectly to that of a sweet young girl's, trembling and thin not with a lack of strength in the lungs behind the voice but with the madness wracking her, with the wistfulness of her loss.

> "He is dead and gone, lady,  
>  He is dead and gone;  
>  At his head a grass-green turf,  
>  At his heels a stone."

"...Save it for the audition," Makoto said, voice thin.

"What, do I still need to do one of those?"

"At least show up," Makoto said.

***

Before that, Nezumi went to the West Block and tried to track down his old manager. Of course, he had no sense of loyalty to anyone, but you might as well do something properly if you're starting a new job.

"Him?" Inukashi asked, with the caution bred of the long time he'd spent knowing Nezumi too well for, Nezumi was sure, his own good. "If he owes you any money, you're out of pocket this time, Nezumi."

"Skip town, did he?"

"Eternally, yeah. During the Hunt."

They'd been close together when the Hunt crashed down on them, the manager chiding Nezumi for how rarely he'd been showing up of late. Nezumi had lost track of him immediately in the waves of panic and genocide, but to be honest, it's not like he'd spared a thought for the man at the time. It was him and Shion in that tempest, and he'd been as determined as Prospero to bring them safely to shore.

"Going to mourn him, Nezumi? Your poor dead manager. He probably died with tears in his eyes wishing he'd had a few more years to use you to wring more money out of saps."

"Saps like you, Inukashi?" Nezumi leaned over, cradling Inukashi's chin between two fingers. Inukashi went completely still, upper lip rising slightly over his teeth as he realized the position he was in, but not daring to voice his threatening snarl. Nezumi pitched his voice into perfect purring androgyny, smiling warmly at him. "I'd seen you in the audience in the past, you know. The theatre lights aren't so blinding I can't recognize a cur taking up a theatre seat."

Baby Shionn was held in Inukashi's totally still arms, and was the only thing on Inukashi still moving, waving his little fists and working his mouth. Nezumi almost wondered how Inukashi didn't drop him from arms surely gone numb by now; babies weren't light, after all.

Inukashi drew a hitching breath finally and said, "Yeah, well, I'm not surprised; any dog is better behaved than your theatre audience, so of course I'd stand out."

"True enough. No, I'm not mourning," Nezumi said, and dropped Inukashi's chin. Inukashi took several faux-casual steps away to lean against the wall, next to the window. "Just settling my affairs."

"Jeez, man, you say that like you're gonna go die."

"Maybe I will," Nezumi said. "You'd like that, wouldn't you."

"I'm not holdin' my breath."

***

He got hugged as soon as he went back in the bakery door, which he supposed he should have expected, all things considered. He breathed out carefully against the weight of Karan's arms to measure their strength, how hard she was holding him there.

"I knew you'd come back," she said.

"Did you?"

"Because Shion missed you too badly," she said. "I know my son. He wouldn't miss anyone like that if they weren't the sort who'd come back for him."

"Oh, I see," Nezumi said. He inhaled just enough to put pressure on her arms; obligingly, she dropped the embrace. "I just happened to be coming back this way on my travels. It's not very likely I'll stay."

She picked up a croissant. "Oh, I see," she said, as if she didn't believe it in the slightest, and offered it to him.

He took it. "So is Shion back yet? From _work._ "

"Not yet--"

"Great." He tossed himself the croissant a couple of times. "Guess I'll go read."

He escaped up the stairs before she could say anything more, a heavy pit in the center of his stomach, and shut the door to Shion's room behind himself.

Shredding the croissant in his hands, he let the pieces drop, watched Shion's mice and his own swarm in to eat it. For a few moments, he just watched them contentedly gorge themselves on Karan's baking, and then he flung the window open, leaning out on the frame, face tilted into the wind.

***

He was still sitting by the open window when Shion came home, saw him, burst into a smile. It was too bright; it left a heavy throb in his eyes he had to turn away from to look out at the setting sun instead.

"Nezumi," Shion said.

It wasn't said in a way that expected an answer; it was said like Shion just wanted to say his name to him, so he ignored it, watched the smeared reds darken slowly outside.

"How was your day?"

Nezumi ignored that too, and sniffed the air briefly. It _smelled_ like nightfall and he strained against the crawling uncomfortable feeling in his chest, sinking down against the wall under the window. "Shion."

"Mm?"

"Come here." Nezumi patted the ground behind himself.

Obligingly, Shion sunk down onto his knees and shuffled over. He stopped in front of Nezumi instead of beside him like Nezumi had asked, but that suited Nezumi better anyway. "What is it?"

"I'll show you," Nezumi said.

"Show me?"

"You asked me to teach you. So I'll show you how."

Shion tilted his head, almost exactly like one of Inukashi's dogs when it was paying attention but had a total and understandable inability to understand human language. "Teach me what, Nezumi?"

"Are you an idiot?"

"Of course I'm an idiot. You always say so."

"Oh, you admit it so glibly. How painful. Like the fool."

" _Your wit makes wise things foolish when we greet, with eyes best seeing, heaven's fiery eye. By light we lose light: your capacity is of that nature that to your huge store. Wise things seem foolish and rich things but poor._ "

Nezumi snorted. "Ugh. Terrible. Both a poor choice of quote and poorly quoted. You're getting a failing grade."

"That's the first failing grade I've ever received," Shion said. "Too bad."

"Too bad. At least you accept it graciously. That's a start."

"If you're going to fail me," Shion said, "at least correct my work, too."

"It's pointless to try to teach you delivery."

"But a better quote?"

" _Foolery, sir, does walk about the orb like the sun: it shines everywhere._ "

Shion nodded. "Much better. But what are you to teach me?"

"Is that not enough?"

"It's not what you intended."

"Sex, Shion." Nezumi sank down further in a sort of agony, rubbing his hand over his face as if to wipe away the world-weariness of having to spell this out. "If airheadedness were a marketable commodity I'd bottle and sell you and become rich."

"Fortunately, you've got no interest in wealth," Shion said, cheeks pink, and then, "Yes? I'd like to. I'd really like to." He leaned forward, eyes wide, gazing into Nezumi's face so intensely that the back of Nezumi's neck seized up with the force of his effort to not move away. "Nezumi, I've thought a lot about that."

The weight of Shion's gaze was immense. "You probably had no idea what you were thinking."

"I understand things from a basic health sciences perspective, at least--"

"No idea," Nezumi repeated. "Sex isn't all like that pathetic fumbling and groping we did."

"It's not like you to admit doing something pathetic," Shion said, genuinely surprised, and gasped when Nezumi's hand clenched tight in the hair of the back of his head, pulling roughly.

It hadn't at all been an unpleasant sound and Nezumi tried hard not to think of that. "We'll start simple, for my simple student," he just said instead, throat tight, and undid his pants with his other hand. "Do you think you can make me hard?"

"Yes," Shion said, gazing up at him, lips parted, and Nezumi caught his breath.

***

>  Tomorrow is Saint Valentine’s day,  
>    All in the morning betime,  
>   And I a maid at your window,  
>    To be your Valentine.  
>   Then up he rose, and donned his clothes,  
>    And dupped the chamber door.  
>   Let in the maid that out a maid  
>    Never departed more.

***

The unfortunate part was that Shion was in fact a quick study, head bobbing on his cock, tongue swirling around it, face tilted up so he could watch every embarrassing reaction Nezumi should know better than to show. Impossible not to react, though, not when it was Shion sucking his cock, Shion where only prostitutes and customers had been before, Shion's lips tight around him dragging along his length, Shion's tongue curling and prodding and flicking, Shion kissing him like this meant something, and fuck him, it did.

Nezumi tilted his head up to try not to see Shion's gaze, fingers trembling in Shion's soft hair. It was so soft, so thick; he had wanted to bury his hands in this hair over and over, for kisses, for sex, just to feel it. It was agonizingly soft on his skin and he had a brief fantasy as he gazed up at the ceiling, panted his breaths out, of Shion's hair absorbing him, of his fingers sinking into Shion's scalp, tendrils of hair winding around his fingers until they couldn't escape, sucking along his wrists, pulling him so he vanished into Shion entirely. Shion's lips were agonizing, a deep, heavy throbbing rocking through his body, too good; he couldn't help but move into that, hold Shion there with his hand firm, proving his control over this as he thrust into Shion's mouth.

Shion choked briefly, throat tightening wonderfully -- yes, good, Nezumi thought, _good_ , because it was wonderful to be cruel to Shion briefly, to feel Shion's throat trembling around him, as Nezumi used his mouth -- and then leaned into it eagerly, as if he was liking how it felt to choke and _god_ , but didn't it just figure? It wasn't like Shion's masochism should come as any surprise. Nezumi felt control slipping away from him again as a result -- not because it was too good but because as long as Shion was loving this, leaning into it, trying to take Nezumi deeper like a madman, like an idiot, Nezumi was helpless to do anything but give him what he wanted and Nezumi groaned out loud, forced him down as he came, felt Shion choking and sputtering under him.

Still looking at the ceiling, he couldn't see Shion to confirm, but in his mind he could see Shion's face anyway, tight and pained and deliriously happy, eager, eyes heavy. When he talked again his voice would be hoarse and heavy from the force that had been moving into it. He probably felt raw. He probably was in pain, uncomfortable, but that wouldn't be showing on his face as Nezumi's orgasm was dragged out of him helplessly by that mouth.

He yanked Shion off his dick as soon as he orgasm moved far enough away to do so, finally looked down at him. Shion's eyes were heavy with desire despite the discomfort he must be in; his mouth was swollen and come-slick; he was coughing, throat still trembling, the sound wet and Nezumi jerked helplessly at the sudden sensory overload of that image, more overcome than he had been when he'd orgasmed. He almost lost his grip on Shion and grabbed him harder to make up for it.

"You liked that a lot," Nezumi managed, finally. "Kinky. You're surprisingly dirty."

"It's normal to like sex," Shion protested, voice _wrecked_ and Nezumi shuddered at the aftershock of lust that rushed through him at the sound.

"You're no good," Nezumi said. "You'll have to practice. You can do that, right? I'll show you how it should be done. In a minute."

Shion let Nezumi bear him back into the floor, push him down under the window, as if he'd completely forgotten there was a bed right next to him. He just stared at Nezumi with those burning, blood-red eyes, and managed, thickly, "In a minute?"

"You don't think I'm done teasing you yet, do you?" Nezumi said, and tapped Shion's hip. "Clothes off."

Shion hesitated only briefly -- not a surprise, and nothing for Nezumi to call this off over; Shion was utterly body-shy since his body had changed against his will, and if he hadn't hesitated Nezumi would be more worried, not less. But he shuddered a moment later and started unbuttoning his shirt with heavy, shaking fingers.

Nezumi looked away, unable to stand this right now, gazed at the wall and forced a thoughtful look on his face, like he was contemplating all the things he wanted to do to Shion rather than that he was unable to watch this intimate moment, watch Shion shyly strip his cardigan off, to slide out of his pants already aroused, watch that moment where his dick would jerk upwards. Impossible. Terrifying. So he waited until he heard Shion let out a little sigh, the acknowledgement of his nudity, and then turned back.

Shion was beautiful enough for it to almost punch him in the heart, which was an absurd thing to think, he thought. Shion was skinny and had funny angles and scars where bullets had hit him. And that red snake wound around him, of course. Nezumi traced it with his fingertips, following it from Shion's cheek to the back of his neck, switching hands to trace it around the front, around his chest, over his back, down to his buttocks, down Shion's leg. Shion shivered, and Nezumi wanted to lick it suddenly, so he did.

"N-Nezumi," Shion said, and oh god, of course, he was going to be loud. Nezumi closed his eyes as if that'd drown the sound out and slid up, mouthing at Shion's thighs, tasting the salt taste of his sweat, sucked one of Shion's balls into his mouth. " _Nezumi_!"

And then Nezumi was thinking less than he had when Shion had been doing it to him because he was drowning himself, drowning in Shion's smell, the taste of his cock, the slick flavor of his precome, the weight of Shion's hands in his short hair, the weight of Shion's hands pushing him down. He moved against the pressure to make a good rhythm, to wind his tongue well, but he could hardly think about it. Shion held him down like you'd hold a man underwater to drown him, that steady unrelenting pressure, and Nezumi found himself moaning, dragged his nails against Shion's ass, squeezed Shion's balls in his other hand, head moving, bobbing, drowning, drowning. He swallowed when Shion came in his mouth, unable to hear anything but the sound of Shion crying out, unable to taste anything but bitter salt waves closing around him.

 

***

> By Gis and by Saint Charity,  
>    Alack, and fie, for shame!  
>   Young men will do ’t, if they come to ’t.  
>    By Cock, they are to blame.  
>   Quoth she, “Before you tumbled me,  
>    You promised me to wed.”  
>   He answers,  
>   “So would I ha' done, by yonder sun,  
>    An thou hadst not come to my bed.” 

***

"Oh," Shion said, weakly. "The window's still open."

Nezumi rubbed at his jaw and pretended it was a thoughtful gesture. "So it is."

"I hope Mom had her window closed tonight."

"It's not like it isn't anything she doesn't know."

"Still! I'll close it now."

"Now that the horse has bolted? No, leave it open. Maybe I'll escape out it tonight."

Shion tilted his head to look back at Nezumi, still flushed, breath still coming quickly. Nezumi flopped his hand over his face, the back of his hand covering his eyes, to block out the sight. "Are you going to?"

"Probably."

"I'd rather you didn't."

"This ship is sinking, Shion. It's a sinking ship, and I'm a rat. I'll always leave before it goes down with me still on board."

"This ship? Which ship?"

"This relationship, Shion. That ship."

"It's not," Shion said, almost surprised. "It never has been. It carries itself afloat just fine. You're leaving the ship way too early."

"No, no, it'll crash on the rocks and be dashed to pieces. There's nothing guiding it, only darkness."

"If you're a rat, then let me be a lighthouse."

"A lighthouse? What idiocy is about to come out of your mouth this time?"

"If there's a lighthouse, you'll know the ship won't sink," Shion said. "So let me be your lighthouse. Even if you flee the ship out of fear, the lighthouse's rocks will be the nearest land to flee to. So it's fine. We'll keep ourselves together no matter what. We can stay like this, if you'll let me be a lighthouse."

Nezumi groaned. "Why a lighthouse, though?"

Voice clear, Shion said, "Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds, or bends with the remover to remove. Oh no, it is an ever-fixed mark that looks on tempests and is never shaken; it is the star to every wandering bark."

Unable to see him, Nezumi could only imagine his skin and hair in the moonlight, reflecting pale and bright, almost glowing. He felt tears leak out from under his hand and hoped it was dark enough that Shion couldn't. He should have realized. He'd set himself up for that one completely.

"Lousy delivery," Nezumi said. "Just lousy. It's impossible to teach you anything, Shion. Shut the window, it's cold. Let's get the heater on."

"Oh, sorry," Shion said. "I got distracted."

He closed the window. Nezumi breathed in the still air and said, "Ugh, it's pointless talking about these things with you. Let's go to bed."

"Yes," Shion said. "Let's. Oh, I heard you got the part of Ophelia."

"Did you? I hadn't heard that yet. Actually, the auditions haven't been held yet."

"Well, I'll look forward to seeing you perform."

"You'd better," Nezumi said.


End file.
